Open letter to my neighborhood (written while waiting for the camera to charge)

Hi neighbor! Yes, you, the one with the lawnmower seemingly surgically attached to your hands. Well, I know that we haven't formally met yet, but I just wanted to tell you something. Your lawn? It's SPECTACULAR. I mean, really, really immaculate. It's so amazing that you can totally put the lawn equipment down now and give yourself a well-deserved break. Your grass could not get any more perfect, I swear to you. I know it's been raining an awful lot lately, and boy -- isn't it pesky how water makes things grow so quick? I know, but here's the thing. Every time that it stops raining and I want to go sit on the deck and listen to the birdsong that enticed me to move out here in the first place, there you are -- chopping madly at that brand new hundredth of a centimeter as though if you stop there will be a grass uprising. You know what? Your dedication is truly admirable, it really is, but I have to let you in on a little secret. Do you know how many times I've cut my grass this year? Once. Yep. And no one has gotten lost in the wilderness of my yard or been taken over by giant lawn bugs. I mean, most of you probably aren't that impressed by the state of affairs behind my house, but I don't mind. I've got other things to think about, but the problem is that it's kind of hard to hear my thoughts over your YardMaster5000. I have some ideas, if you're interested. What if you dug up that grass and planted other things...like food? Wouldn't that be a hoot? All you'd have do do is weed, pick and eat. Do you know what the best part of all that would be, besides the sheer enjoyment and the green factor? It's all done relatively quietly. Just saying.

No one ever said the NYT wasn't elitist at times...

I love the New York Times. I really do. I especially like Frank Bruni, the food writer for the NYT. However, this article kind of made my blood, well, not boil...but definitely heat up a bit.

http://www.nytimes.com/2009/03/25/dining/25frank.html?scp=6&sq=dining%20challenge&st=cse

The premise: cook a meal for six for -- wait for it -- $50! I get that the chefs were trying to make some higher-end dishes and multiple courses which is in and of itself a challenge anyway. Come on, though, really? In today's economy the whole concept comes off sounding a bit ridiculous and short-sighted. Here's a quote from Bruni:

Less than $8.50 a person for a full dinner? I didn't see how this budget allowed for much strutting, not even from home cooks as gifted and resourceful as these two kitchen goddesses.

Sadie at http://www.jezebel.com/ had this to say about it:

Not only is $50 for six no challenge to a cook on a normal budget (see: any issue of Taste of Home), not only is such a "competition" an insult to those of us who adhere to such constraints, not only is the raillery of the contest precious and irritating, but, the menus are too intricate for the average working person to tackle. Not the point? Maybe not - but it's a further bit of alienation for those of us who cook as a daily
necessity.

Word. No, really, it's exactly this mentality that makes people nervous about getting in the kitchen. If it's so tough to feed a group of six for under $50 a meal -- and make it good -- why bother? For that matter, how do you think large families do it? Some of them are likely eating crap food (well, a lot, if the Duggars are a fair model), but many are subsisting on good food for much less. I know that the New York Times' target audience might not be the food stamp crowd, exactly, but how about a little awareness of the economic difficulties that a large group of people are staring down on a day-to-day basis? No matter what your target demographic, journalists should maybe start edging toward more responsible reporting to stay relevant in today's economic climate, no?

With that, check what I bought at the store for just a little bit over the budget of the chefs in the article. It's all organic, too. I'm gonna show you what to make with all of it, eventually:


All of this will make much more than a few meals. You'll notice a whole chicken back there, a New York strip and a pound of bacon from the meat case. Tons of veggies, fruits, a loaf of bread, a pound each of split peas, arborio rice and Great Northern beans. Yum. You know why the money went so far? The entire haul consists of whole foods. Whole foods are cheaper because with processed foods you're paying for the labor and processing, and with whole foods, the processing falls on you (I know, I said this wasn't rocket science). Time really is money.